film score composer | film director | screenwriter | actress

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A View from the Other Side of the Looking Glass

All of my life, I’ve been in love with the concept of Wonderland, a magical place where ideas aren’t just made, they’re interacted with. To Lewis Carroll, it was a place visited through the dreamlands of Oxford University. J.M. Barrie found it as Neverland. Mr. Barrie's friend, Robert Louis Stevenson, discovered it as Treasure Island. Almost every literary work or movie you love has a form of it.The very first Portal to Wonderland I ever found was my great aunt and uncle’s house in Urbana, Illinois, where I spent countless days with the biggest smile on my face. Country music blaring. Arts and crafts, music, and gentle encouragement from my great aunt. The best home cooking I’ve ever had. Everyday errands that somehow felt like adventures. I made up stories on the spot. Brought my flute over and wrote ridiculous little songs. Listened to tales of life many decades before I was born, from a time that felt like magic. I never wanted to leave.Later on, I found Wonderland again, at a secret location in Manhattan, the summer before ninth grade. It’s still a Portal today, whenever I return to NYC. Then again, at 18, on the campus of the University of Texas at Austin: French fries, a tall Diet Coke, a stack of schoolbooks, and a notebook full of messy musical thoughts and cinematic dreams.I was 14 when I watched The Fellowship of the Ring theatrically and returned home with my imagination on fire, sketching the mental notes of what would become my first major blockbuster dream project, The Time Machine. Just like a then unknown Kiwi man and his life partner who said, “Why can’t you make Hollywood movies in the “middle (Earth) of nowhere? Who says you have to live and breathe LA to direct the biggest movies of all time?” Before, I thought only established Hollywood royalty could make movies. The Lord of the Rings trilogy was what this Midwestern gal in Wonderland needed to see to learn, ANYONE CAN DO IT. DREAM IT, AND IT SHALL HAPPEN.I remember that version of me. I still am her. Planner. Dreamer. Composer. Musician. Director. Actress. A young girl’s truth, directed and scored by yours truly, co-written by who I was, and who I’m still becoming. Because you have to be completely fearless to immerse yourself in Wonderland.My days now are filled with soft things: pet cuddles, cooking, donating to animal shelters, time spent in nature because I have to be outdoors to exist, and reading public domain books and poetry. I compose music sitting on the floor of my bedroom, outside in the grass, or anywhere I can feel a little magic, like near beaches, gardens, deserts, and tropical skies. Places with a view, or a feeling.I don’t care about impressing everyone anymore. I care about creating something true. And somewhere out there, I hope there are people like you. People who still believe in quiet magic, slow beauty, and stories told with soul. Come journey to Wonderland with me in my movies, music, and all that I do. Because I build this dreamland of mine for you.

xoxo,
Nic