Familiar Face? No, I Don’t Look Like The Person You Think I Look Like!

Can we get this off my chest?

I do not look like...

Your granddaughter. Your daughter. Your former high school classmate. That Z-list celebrity famous for what again. That Oscar nominated female celebrity. That singer. That TV actress. That actor, if he were a girl. That girl packing your groceries last week. That woman helping you gather clothes for your dressing room. “A familiar face!” Your nurse! Am I your nurse from—no, I am not. Please guys. It is physically impossible to look like Shakira, JWOWW from MTV’s Jersey Shore, Amanda Seyfried, Dua Lipa, Megan Fox, Sophie Turner, Isla Fisher, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, your sister, Ashlee Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Lopez (what the?), that chick from the checkout counter here at the store I am buying stuff at today, and...all these people in the same week. Because I get those comments in a single week. Absurd! The names of people I look like change with whoever is popular in the vast pop culture time period. When I was 10 at the height of Titanic mania, it was during back to school shopping, a girl telling me I could be Leonardo DiCaprio’s little sister. Now at 32, people are naming whoever is trending on Spotify. If I have glasses on that day, I look like every female celebrity in history who has ever worn glasses. Contact lenses in, I look like anyone in today’s Us Weekly.

The same woman told me in two states at two different Whole Foods locations how much I look like her granddaughter who goes to Juilliard. She wouldn’t leave me alone as I smiled and laughed, standing there for five minutes if not more, as I picked out peanuts and other products like I’m going to forget she told me in NYC about two months earlier. She bumped into me as I was leaving to stop me again rambling as I said I had to go. She didn’t notice she was doing the same thing from the other Whole Foods store! Think of this happening to me ... a lot. People standing somewhere not leaving as I do something because they won’t stop talking about how I look like someone. Or, customers at every store throwing products at me because they are convinced I am the salesgirl helping them earlier who sometimes is ohhhh I don’t know not me as in, pro athlete tall! taller, a whole different background, has a foreign or Southern accent when I am Midwestern, different hair color, or somehow in some way doesn’t look like me.

When I go out in public, mostly only American and Canadian people at businesses, and you know in America that’s who I mostly bump into, blurt out with the biggest smile how I look like someone else or a female celebrity who often doesn’t have similar facial features at all or is remotely similar, as if I am supposed to be thrilled by this when I am only there as a customer or they are fellow customers to whom this shouldn’t matter. Outside of black celebrities, people compare me to every name ever in the public eye. Looking like hundreds if not thousands of celebrities is physically impossible, friends. Please do me a favor and stop. It gets worse as time goes on. I don’t know what is wrong with everyone. Generally, people from other countries outside of the USA/Canada don’t do this. Thank you, people from other parts of the world! :)

My astigmatism gone wack is wretched, and I myself perfectly see I don’t look like literally thousands of different people. Depending on how the light strikes my face, a photo’s angle, or a hair color, like when years ago I used to swap between blonde and black dye, the kind of makeup I am wearing, the comparisons are outrageous. The weirdest was in the same week when I had strawberry blonde highlights years ago hearing I look like Blake Lively and Elvis. Not kidding.

It gets really old really fast. Downright annoying.

It’s getting to be about once a week minimum now again I hear, in person and now online, how much I look like someone else; these otherwise friendly well meaning folks are convinced of their truth and probably think I am going to be thrilled by the news.

Children recognizing me as cartoon characters is for the record always acceptable and welcomed. I love kids thinking auburn hair means I must be Pebbles Flintstone, Ariel from The Little Mermaid, Little Wendy of the fast food chain fame, Madeline from the books, all these people. Cute alert! I play along with it for them, answering in character. Grownups? Not so cute.

If you have told me in person or written me online how much I look like so and so, I am not going to answer it any longer as of today onwards and will get back on track with the discussion being my friendly self as if nothing happened, depending on who it is and how well I know someone. On the rare occasion, the comparison isn’t so far fetched, and I don’t mind as much. Reading this by now, you can probably guess 99 percent of the people I am compared to are far fetched. If I know the person professionally, I will explain this and laugh it off maybe, but for strangers and online comments, I will get back on subject. You probably mean well, convinced that I look like your fav celebrity or someone you know. You probably think it’s amazing to tell someone, for what you think is my first and is really my millionth time, how familiar her face is or how she resembles someone. It’s not. Quoting a famous TV show episode where a woman gets dumped by post it, “Sorry, I can’t. Don’t hate me.”

People I think I could sometimes maybe in the right lighting look like? I don’t know. Myself!!! OK, if pressed? Margot Robbie. Just kidding. I wish. Truthfully, maybe Emma Stone‘s test tube baby she had with Gal Gadot? Maybe myself? A hint there. Small one. I look like myself!

xoxo, Nic

Enjoy this photo of Mr. Terminator and Danny DeVito from the movie Twins because that is how much I look like the people you think I look like!