Book Tip #2: "Should I Have Free e-Books?"

Debunking the biggest myth of all time, no!

"Yeah, but–"

Shut up.

"I read someone else, someone famous, said I should beca–"

I said...


I am an evil publishing queen. My crown has secrets you'll never know because I publish other people's books and you don't, or if you do, you clearly want to know and don't know the answer, ba-ha-ha-ah. Supposed to be an evil queen giggle.

"Why Not?"

#1 You won't make any money.

Self explanatory. I hope you want to make money for your writing or there's something wrong with you.

#2 You won't get famous from free e-books.

Ha-ha-ha, you think free e-books are like Dat Piff for authors? Get real!

The rare author you hear about getting mega famous from free e-books hired a sweet PR firm for his/her VIP press. They're doing stuff they don't tell you about. Don't believe in publishing fairy tales.

The others are tall tales. Con artists trying to sell you "how to" gimmicks. How to make it in publishing! How to do your own book PR! Written by inexperienced people you've never heard of. Snake oil tales, why don't we call them?

"What's Dat Piff?"

The hip hop mixtape website people "drop" music onto to be discovered and/or tease existing fans with upcoming material.

#3 Gaining a small following, and it'll be small if you gain fans at all from this, won't guarantee future book sales.

You could have groups of people who like your book for however long they don't have to pay for it. See how many fake fans drop away when you charge. Everyone loves free filet mignon samples. Most average non-foodie Americans won't pay $75 for a fancy restaurant's good one including sides and a drink.

Your writing is that filet mignon a lot of people will only take if it's free.

#4 Serious book fans might think it's junk and not download it.

Versace or free to good home clothes? Something free comes with a bad reputation. Most of the time, free e-books are pretty bad. You're talking trashy chick lit too boring to be guilty pleasure material, almost half the time.

#5 You write better when you know you'll be paid.

Nobody puts in their best shot writing free e-books. Or free mixtapes, using our rap analogy. You don't see the world's top earning producers and hip hop stars giving their best work to Dat Piff. Someone "drops" a mixtape there to keep momentum going. The music on there won't be slick radio production.

You are never going to do your best feeling you work for free. You'll give it a half best. Write a novel expecting to be paid. You'll give it your Black Swan all.

#6 You look like a spammer giving them away on social media.

Celebrities and new fans never download your unsolcitied e-books. Get over it. As aforementioned, at least half suck. The writers themselves do not; we're referring to the books from a lack of effort.

#7 Only fools work for free.

Love yourself. Take yourself seriously. Don't be "one of them." Be your author name in bold. Have your art be worth something. I mean this, people when they see you have a free e-book who get paid for their work as indie or major publishers are going to think you are so dumb, they signed the perfect idiot. You're going to be ripped off in your big contract with them. For good reason. Were I to look at someone and see he or she is giving it away for free practically, I'd question how one is so talented and yet so dumb.